Relationships and Business: The Bitter-Sweet Love Affair (A Founder's Issue)

Dedicated to: Founders

Okay firstly I am going to admit, this is me partly venting my frustrations with my love life (or lack thereof). 

Secondly, my lack of a definable love life has taught me a valuable lesson about emotional intelligence (EQ) and how mastering it is key to winning in every aspect of life, especially business.


Now in relation to the venting, I'm pretty young so it's understandable why I'm single but the lack of a companion especially when I live in an environment where the pros of relationships are glorified as the "ultimate experience" can be a challenge. But in all honesty I'm not completely single, as I tell everyone who dares to ask, I'm in the VIP section of the friendzone. For those that don't know what that is, it's the friendzone but with HOPE (I know right), and by hope I mean she has shown an interest in taking things beyond the friendship, so it's not all that bad. But now the biggest issue as a collective (her and I) with that is that friends and family thinks her and I are dating and it can really be awkward.


The biggest problem FOR ME is trying not to get too emotional where stuff like jealousy and others are concerned (all the stuff a boyfriend would get emotional about) 'cause after all I'm not her partner. Now that's where emotional intelligence (EQ) came in, I had - and constantly have, to get my emotions in check and sure enough it has not been easy but it has borne some tasty fruits. Most notable, the lack of "relationship" stress which my non-existent relationship was giving me. But another fruit (and essence of this post) was I learnt that not being fully vested into something especially something so dear to your heart can cause SERIOUS problems for you if you cannot control your emotions.




Founder Experience

*do correct me if I'm wrong*

1. Conceive an idea, share it with close friends for validation before moving forward

2. Find partners (I prefer to skip this step, reason will be in a future blog post "Partnerships: 21st Century Trojan Horse)
3. Start
4. Get investors
5. Grow: which involves getting more funding
7. IPO (something I'm totally against, coming in a future blog post as well)
8. Then exit 


I want to talk about Step 4: Get Investors. When you get investors in this century, especially as a young founder (who this blog is for), they normally don't trust you to execute your idea so they get what is coined "Adult Supervision" through either someone on the board or in senior management that monitors their investment. In some extreme cases the terms for their investment (if you don't have much leverage), they ask you to step down and they put in an experienced CEO to run the show. Now anyone who knows how that feels will tell you, you're technically giving up your idea to someone to run it for you. So you're not fully vested in your idea as you wish but because it's YOUR idea it close to your heart. As we have seen in the extreme cases (Steve Jobs and Apple) it can really backfire, but in milder situations you have a say but can't really say much about how the company is run. 



Now as a founder it can really be hell having "your baby" in the hands of another who you think isn't taking good care of it the best way they can. For those going through it and those about to go through it; EQ is the solution. If the late Steve Jobs *may his soul rest in peace* actually controlled his emotions after he was ousted from Apple and held his shares he would have won *business-wise*. But on a more general perspective, EQ lets you live with the fact that you created something useful and the rest is out of your hands, and to just accept what comes your way. 



EQ can be applied to many situations, personal relationships, business, your spirituality, your self image too; pretty anything that involves emotion. Use it and life becomes a lot more easier and less complicated.


Intelligence is Overrated What You Really Need to Succeed - Forbes - this is is where I first heard about EQ (ironically the person I'm in a "relationship" with recommended this article to me).


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